Apr 1 – Vardy Faces Euro 2016 Ban


ENGLAND’S Euro 2016 hopes have been rocked by news scoring sensation Jamie Vardy faces being banned from the tournament.

Rivals Germany, whom Vardy scored against in last week’s friendly, have unearthed a little-known rule that prevents players who have competed at non-league level from representing their country in major finals.

The rule was introduced to encourage football federations such as the FA to press top clubs to produce academy kids rather than sign them from lowly outfits.

It’s thought Germany have known about the clause for months but only flagged it up after Vardy’s wonder goal against them was followed by another strike against Holland.

Vardy is 1-16 with bet365 to be in the England Euro 2016 squad and 6-4 to start the opening game against Russia.

Bet365 spokesman Steve Freeth said: ” I can assure punters if Vardy is ruled out because of his non-league past we’ll refund all antepost bets placed on him.”

An FA spokesman said: “This is a fool-hardy move. We want Vardy involved and will appeal against any sanctions imposed.

“This ruling doesn’t affect anyone else likely to be chosen. Northern Ireland new boy Conor Washington turned out for St Ives Town but no one has protested because he’s not that good.

“Our other concern is Fraser Forster played for Celtic and there might be a problem there if the Scottish League is deemed to be a lower standard than the Conference.”

Spokesman for the SFA, Olf O’Prail, said: “We think Forster will be OK. Celtic sometimes defend like a non-league club but in reality they are not one.

“Also we’d encourage players who make it in the game after playing non-league to commit their allegiance to Scotland. We never qualify for tournaments so no one would be banned from finals.”

Vardy played for non-league Halifax and Fleetwood before signing for Leicester. Current Fleetwood boss Steven “Elvis” Pressley said: “It’s disappointing a former Town player won’t be representing England but we have a ready-made replacement in Shola Ameobi.”

England boss Hodgson said: “I met Elvis down the chip shop. They had no brown sauce.”

When quizzed about Vardy’s potential exclusion Leicester boss Claudio Ranieri said: “I will console him with a slice of pizza. And if Italy win Euro 2016 we will wash it down with champagne and everything will be all right.”

  1. Profile photo of hampy
    hampy 7 months ago

    hmm one of those dont say anything, see what gets posted moments 😉

    • Profile photo of ooseven
      ooseven 7 months ago

      And of course I read it taking it all (well the main bit anyway) seriously ’cause I don’t have a bloody clue it’s actually April 1st. I was googling like crazy to see stories about it. That’ll teach me not to read the bloody calendar in future!

  2. Profile photo of theresa higgins
    theresa higgins 7 months ago

    Happy April fools day Mr F

  3. Profile photo of rj
    rj 7 months ago


  4. Profile photo of petet
    petet 7 months ago

    I wondered what you’d come up with this year – you never fail to disappoint Mr F! :)

  5. Profile photo of leighrg
    leighrg 7 months ago

    Happy April fools day Mr F

  6. Profile photo of insanekit
    insanekit 7 months ago

    WTF?! I can’t believe they would do that. Anti-English UEFA or wot?!

  7. Profile photo of davros
    davros 7 months ago

    Calendar time Insanekit :-)

  8. Profile photo of mister catnip
    mister catnip 7 months ago

    …so you do have a sense of humour then!

  9. Profile photo of stagger
    stagger 7 months ago

    Last year’s wind-up was the best. The thread about Harpreet getting his own column. I spent a while trying to find it in the archives and have come up trumps. Hope you don’t mind me copy and pasting this, MrF, but it is truly hilarious! We can all enjoy it again, especially those who know something about Harpreet himself.

    Mr Fixit
    , 1st April 2015, Football Tips, harpreets tips, mrfixitstips,

    THERE have been some offers to buy the site recently but none matched the valuation – until now.

    We’re delighted to announce mrfixitstips has been snapped up by well-known site user and entrepreneur Harpreet and from Thursday will be known Harpreet’s tips. Boom boom let’s shake the room!

    The Midlands punter recently commented on the fact he was on holiday in Dubai but he was in fact putting the final stages of his seven-figure bid together with investor Sheikh Mohammed bin Foorallip.

    Harpreet and the super-rich Sheikh have won hundreds of thousands of pounds on raaljaca’s goals tips and if you follow our twitter feed you’ll have seen proof of some of their big punts.

    There won’t be too many changes to the site but anyone who comments will need to use the word “boom” for their post to be approved and if you’re boasting about a winning tip you’ll have to say “boom, boom” or just “boooooooooooooooooooom”.

    Speaking from his suite at the world-famous Burj Al Arab Hotel Harpreet said: “I feel like a booooooooooooooom. I love this site and to have the means to buy it is great. Shaka laka boom boom.

    “I’m hoping the regulars will embrace some new ideas I have but the best thing about the site is the tips from so many good people on the football, racing and sports threads. We’ll keep the contest but there will be no more £10 free bets.

    “We’ll be giving away holidays, cars, Louis Vuitton skateboards and even my favourite gift – washing machines. Some people have branded me a fool in the past but who’s the fool now!”

    Mr Fixit will continue to post tips until the end of the season and after that they’ll be available exclusively every day in the Daily Record.

    Harpreet added: “I won’t be doing write-ups just tips. My tips are done on gut feeling and value for money and while not everyone will agree with them there will be more winners than losers. It’s going to boom time on Harpreet’s top tips – and I hope everyone enjoys the ride.”

    Note: It’s now after 12pm so we can confirm this is an April Fool. Thanks to everyone who commented.

  10. Profile photo of grego
    grego 7 months ago

    That’s hilarious, nealy got me that 😂😂

  11. Profile photo of lee cunliffe
    lee cunliffe 7 months ago

    yeah first paragraph i thought wtf then remembered the date think ill use this one myself

  12. Profile photo of terrinico
    terrinico 7 months ago

    Can’t believe it took me 8 paragraphs before I twigged

  13. Profile photo of duck57
    duck57 7 months ago

    Nice one Mr F, if only it was true!!

  14. Profile photo of -wato-
    -wato- 7 months ago

    Haha brilliant roll on next April lol

  15. Profile photo of mrfurious
    mrfurious 7 months ago


  16. Profile photo of alan
    alan 7 months ago

    Whatever happened to that Harpreet fella?

    • Profile photo of Mr Fixit Author
      Mr Fixit 7 months ago

      alan, after his bid for mrfixitstips fell through he launched his own subscription service.

    • Profile photo of theboss
      theboss 7 months ago

      He is on whatapps selling people tips! you pay him monthly or something and you join his group chat and he gives his “tips”.

  17. Profile photo of theboss
    theboss 7 months ago

    Got me too!! Damn you! lol

  18. Profile photo of Jordan
    Jordan 7 months ago

    Last year will never be beaten but a good effort team :)

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